So what am I going to do with this blog? I am a writer, but I am so terrified to put my emotions on paper. Why? I don’t know.
The other part of this is that the nature of my blog is heartbreaking. I simply cannot write about furniture safety and children dying all the time – it’s hard to face. I do want others to hear my message and to LISTEN, but what I really want is for them to DO SOMETHING. If everyone would do something, then so many children’s lives would be saved. Here is my message: please secure your furniture and TVs to the wall, it might save your child’s life. Simple as that.
What our family went through 3 years ago was horrific. That day that my little toddler decided to climb a dresser to get her Barbie doll – it still haunts me, even now. It is getting easier to tell my daughter’s story, I have a very condensed version. Enough so the person knows, but not enough for me to cry. Sometimes, I wish I could just pretend it did not happen. Pretend that my daughter did not almost die, but I remember that day. I remember the ride in the ambulance, and I remember the doctors cutting my little girls clothing off. I remember the blood stained outfit that came home in the little plastic patient belongings bag. I remember the dresser lying on the floor and the puddles of blood next to it, and I remember kicking and punching that dresser with all my might. Every last ounce of my strength was inflicted upon that dresser. Then, I remember laying on the floor curled up in a fetal position and crying because I did not know if my daughter would live or die and crying because I was in PAIN. I had back surgery about a month and a half before Brooke’s accident. I was looking at a 6 month recovery, but I had just kicked and punched with all my might. I would find out later that I had fractured the good vertebra above the back fusion I had just gone through. Somehow the physical pain did not matter though, if my daughter died – I would surely die.
Think what you might, and just know that I am human. It was tough to process that day and the days to follow. Hard to even believe that what I was going through was actually happening. I think the worst was the first few nights. My husband and I laid there and every time the heart rate monitor or oxygen monitor went off we would jump up frantically thinking Brooke was dying. Doctors told us with head injuries, 72 hours was the window. We blamed ourselves for her accident, so that too would cause my husband and I much grief.
So, why am I sharing this? Guess I just want to let it go. I think what drives me to continue to share her story and tell others about it, is that I know of mothers that have lost their child. My child got to stay, so I feel strongly that I need to let others know in honor of those children that have been lost. I guess I just wish that people would wake up and realize that every 2 weeks a child is lost. A simple little strap that you put on the back of the dresser and attach to the wall can PREVENT this type of accident from EVER happening. I can tell everyone about the dangers, but I can’t make people act – even when their child’s life is at stake. It’s frustrating to me.
I know I am venting, and maybe one person will get it. I want to turn this blog into a positive place for me. I need positive. I am a mommy that has been through some major pain. Sometimes I wish I could take back that day, but my daughter’s accident made me the woman I am today. Strong is a word that I would use to describe myself – stronger than I think.